My Awesome, Influential, Eternal Life — Brought to You by BioSteel!
I’ve launched my post-retirement career as a senior citizen influencer, as I’ve described previously. I’m doing it by joining an age 60+ soccer team, proclaiming myself “famous”, and promoting products made by companies who will theoretically pay me for my unsolicited efforts to sell their stuff to old people.
My first game was perfect. I played passably and our team, Shades of Gray (11, not 50), lost. But that’s not important. Most important was the establishment of my street cred by acquiring content of me in a uniform, brandishing logos of corporate giants like Adidas and Nike, and building my personal brand by emphasizing to my teammates and opponents — and now you— about how enviable, authentic, and influential I am.
A crucial component of any successful influencing campaign, or “influenza” as I call it, is choosing which products to endorse. My previous essay proposed several options appealing to my target market, including adult diapers and pill crushers. But for this first effort, I chose something that, after trying one, is now my favorite drink of all time: BioSteel.
Sports drinks are staples of celebrity endorsements as are clothes, beer, and inexplicably, insurance. But the only one of these things people over 65 might care about is insurance. That’s why the…
