HOW I Watch Sports Rescued Me From Sedentary Celebrity Worship

You’re Doing It Wrong — and Here’s the Incontrovertible Proof

How do you watch sports? Follow the the ball/puck/frisbee/plastic rabbit? Analyze how teams react to attacks and defenses? Track scores at the bottom of the screen, check your bets on Draft Kings, itch for the next cheerleaders upskirt, or who’s being humiliated on KissCam? Do you get tingly over the uniforms, ads, or that hunky golfer with “those socks”?

I imagine I’m the player with the ball. But it’s not like FC 24 or other video games. It’s ME on the field — magically endowed with that player’s creativity, skills, and experience. My objective is to scan nearby players, assess my options, and make my move before the real player. Then I wait to see what he or she does. Sometimes it’s the same thing. But when it’s different, especially something I didn’t see at all, I learn.

When I was child, I watched sports as a child.

I wanted to be entertained. As I matured and started to understand and appreciate the incredible talent these athletes had, I weeded out sports based on whether they were interesting and how well I thought I could play them myself.